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[quote=Anonymous]Yes she needs something or things that are athletic to do.  She is headed to middle school.  Look at the middle school offerings for after school sports and talk about them.  First between you and your spouse, then her.

What can she realistically do with some level of success so that she is not too self-conscious.  You need to be involved here and actually play a roll.

What makes sense for her?  She can be into many things as hobbies and activities over the next 10 years.  Sports, art, dance, music, jobs, Scouts, whatever.  Your job is to help her get ready and be ready, and intelligently explore options that work for her and your family.  We still tease our kids that they missed their chance to be olympic dressage riders (top riding club near our home) if only they had richer parents who could have afforded the sport.

The big thing - and an advantage you have with a kid who at least dances a bit now - is that you are not starting at square one in anything.

My advice:  1.  If she is not already a good swimmer get her on a (inexpensive) neighborhood summer swim team.  All my kids did not care very much for it and never did particularly well in races, but in 2 summers they were all very good swimmers you could trust to go to a pool party.  Huge safety thing and the swim clubs were a decent place to hang out.

2.  Really look at options for what she could do, availability in your area, that work out cost and time wise- then discuss it with her.  Explain - the goals are to find things she likes, can do for years, in and out of school, and that at least something will help her be and stay fit.

Talk to her about options and what might work.  Sports, like music and art and dance are largely learned activities.  Kids don’t always understand this.  Kids very frequently think their friends or schoolmates are just magically good at something without practice.  They don’t see the practice.  Your daughter understands the idea and need for practice already.  But, she does not yet understand that she can find activities that she will want to practice.  No - it will not always be fun, because practice at anything involves making lots of mistakes.  But, and you can explain (many times) she can come to find the fun even when she screws up and it is hard.  The paint smeared, the shot didn’t go in, she flubbed a line, or a dance step, or note.  You can tell her, if when that stuff happens she can shake it off and determine she will get it next time, or the next time, or the next.  Then she found something.

But - even finding something as a passion - if it is not athletic she still needs to do something physical so she can stay in shape.  Run.  Lift weights.  Dance.  Whatever.  You can help her decide by exploring options.  Do think about her present and likely future physical size when planning these options.  Is she going to be over 6 feet tall?  Basketball and volleyball are decent considerations.  Playing s school sport of some sort is always going to be a good way to meet people and find friends.  And, you don’t have to be great at it.  Just fit and reasonably competent.

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