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Eldercare
Reply to "Parents gave brother every role- so I feel like walking away"
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[quote=Anonymous][b]I realize this post could also be posted in the Special Needs forum, but the examples here are meant to demonstrate how two equally educated, informed and caring siblings might best handle our legal, health and financial affairs in the future in a balanced way. Each has a full-time job and family commitments with teens/husband. [/b] - We just consulted our lawyer for an update to our wills etc. and will keep both of our daughters as Successors on POA with the ability act independently, too, in dealing with our future affairs. Both will be on the Health Care Proxy, too, since we do think these decisions might seem too much of a burden for just one to share. - For those with a regular Family Trust, it is likely the same option as we chose for a third daughter's Special Needs Trust to have both siblings Co-Trustees of the SNT and able to act independently as the case may arise. It was suggested specifically so that one will not feel she has to answer to the other in terms of holding the "purse strings." - On balancing out future reporting responsibilities, we will ask one daughter to be Executor of the XXX Family Trust who in the future, while the other daughter would be more directly responsible for deciding on the care plan of their sister with a disability. In terms of paperwork, the one appointed Executor of the estate will also be the point person to see that the right professionals advise and do the reporting on the SNT annually. The other will be responsible for benefits and expenses reporting as her sibling representative payee. - Both siblings it was suggested can be appointed as "Standby Guardians" with some signature forms being required in Virginia, but our lawyer did not think necessary to go to court. We are our daughter's full guardians. By doing this one has the equivalency of a POA and Health Care Proxy in make decisions on her behalf. Our unique position is that while we will have LTC with no time limit as we got it very early, we do not have the ability to use it in health care planning in a sequential manner of a CCRC when we might choose to or need to for one or both with the idea of our daughter being able to access similar services until she is 62! This is another level of future planning with no real pathway because of federal government age regulations on who can be in a CCRC. Our parents did have options on seeking the future care they needed, and in both cases lived to 90 - 99.[/quote]
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