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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you have a job? If yes, why don’t you each pitch in each month to pay the bills and spend the rest as you see fit. If not, I am sorry but either you suffer in silence or try to persuade your DH to not give the money (I don’t think you will succeed).[/quote]

What the what? I don't understand this post at all. Are you suggesting that OP and her DH should take on the burden of the MIL's bills as well as their own? An additional $3000 a month just in rent? When OP and DH need to save for their own retirement and their own kids' education?

And no, no suffering in silence. This is not a "DH gets to decide" issue. OP and DH are a unit and the money they have coming in should be spent on what they jointly decide to spend it on. OP should absolutely have a discussion with DH, but it's not about persuading him, it's about coming to a joint decision on what's right for their family.

OP, what I don't understand is your DH's relationship with his siblings. Are they so distant that they haven't been telling him about how much money they've been giving your MIL? I hope their position is not "now it's our brother's turn" and that causes a family rift, but if it comes to that, so be it, because these discussions should have been happening a decade ago. Your DH isn't obligated to step up to the plate because his siblings were financially enabling their mom to live far beyond her means for a decade.[/quote]

DP.  I assumed the PP you quoted meant to change the way they do their finances to where they both contribute to an account that pays their own bills (whatever those are defined as) and then whatever each has left over is theirs to spend as they want.  Then if her husband wants to give all of his discretionary money to his mom, fine.  It doesn't affect her or the household, just him.[/quote]

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