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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The most important thing is for you and your husband to come to a common understanding about what you are prepared to do, and what you are not.

This is the kind of thing that can put a lot of pressure on, or even destroy, a marriage.[/quote]

Do NOT make this about the $10k. That's the tip of the iceberg. You need to decide as a couple, NOW, what your limits/plans are here. So - if you give her the $10k and tell her to lower her spending, what do you do when she comes back next month/year and asks for another $10k? Is it just a flat no? What about when it's, "send me $10k or I'm about to be evicted?" Or when she's had a serious health issue and can't live independently and has no money?

There's a lot of ways to do this (annual limit, the $10k and then nothing else until she's infirm, a certain dollar figure per month direct to key bills, 30% of appropriate housing for her only, requiring specific changes like she sells the car and you'll buy her a cheap used car and give her $5k, there's a ton of options) but [b]what you DON'T want to do is set your marriage up to fight about this every time she asks for money for the next 15 years. [/quote][/b]

This. Do NOT set the precedent of giving her money with no real change. The time to draw a line is now. If you let him have money even once, you're setting a bad precedent and teaching him that you'll cave.

She's going to need way more money when she's older and less able to care for herself. Her care will be much more expensive. Ask your DH what his plan is to afford that. Dig. In. Your. Heels. Brick wall of no. [/quote]

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