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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess my question should have been------once married, should one be able to assume that having sexual relations with one's  spouse, if medically able, would be a regular occurrence without a lot of guesswork?[/quote]Are you asking for it or are you just waiting for it to happen with being clear about what you want?[/quote]

See 16:50.

I used to ask and be fairly forthcoming with what I had in mind, but no more. [/quote]Yeah, I saw it after I wrote the above.  I was just asking because my dh won't actually [i]ask[/i].  I don't always feel like having sex but if dh is interested and actually tells me, I know how to get excited. But he won't actually ask, all the while blaming me for our sex life.  I make a point of initiating because I know he holds me responsible, but I know it's not often enough for him and it's a burden when one party won't say anything but does all the blaming.  But that's another story. The truth is that we don't talk about this and we need to.  We are both at fault.[/quote]

17:23
[b]
It sounds like if your dh initiates, you don't say no.[/b]  Is that correct?

I know I have let this get too far.  I do need to communicate more even if I think it's going to suck, no pun intended. [/quote] I don't say no, if he is clear about wanting to make love - but I also know that sometimes he has acted affectionately without saying anything and I didn't respond likewise (because I was tired or annoyed that night) but if he had said something I would have responded.  I'm sure that is part of what bothers him.  Either way, I know I need to talk to him about this and I've got to stop avoiding it! We've both been avoiding it for years and that is not good.[/quote]

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