Reply to How do you cope with the constant emotional blows?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In a similar situation but worse because sandwiched. I find that even when I'm not spending oodles of time taking care of boomers I can't even relax anymore because of the guilt/paranoia/adrenaline high.

I am going to start seeing a therapist next week. The only thing that helps is talking to a couple friends who are in the same boat as me (or a worse one).

Flip side I can't believe your sister WANTS to take care of your parents. That alone is huge. You don't know how rare that is -- most flee. Think about it this way -- the fact that she is an underachiever as you imply probably makes her great at being in this extended living with boomers situation. If she was a high achiever she'd probably be delegating from afar to you and your parents would be alone right now in even more dire straights. Jealous of the boots on the ground TBH. Think of her as an uncompensated companion/caregiver -- not sure where they are but in DC that costs $36-$40/hour -- and may be really mediocre. She's doing it for free and probably sacrificing a good portion of the best years of her life to do it.[/quote]

Yes and no. She’s out of the house most of the day. They would have moved long ago if she was a high achiever[/quote]

OP, you definitely have issues with your sister. You don't have to support her financially, but you don't seem to have much empathy. She has a job she loves that doesn't pay well. Let me guess, either it is something that helps the community or perhaps she is an artist? You know there is value in those things too right? There may be mental health issues at play with her too. You can have boundaries, and if she is manipulating you for money that is not OK, but clearly there is a family dynamic issue at play with all of them and therapy might help you make peace with it as you distance yourself.[/quote]

Neither of those jobs. Sorry. And she only works it part time when she could have worked full time during all those healthy years my folks had. Definitely mental health issues that she won't do anything about. Not my dog and pony show. I did seek a therapist and he said to not finance, that I've offered enough, and they need to hit a wall. FYI: there's value in everything but emotional value does not pay the bills.[/quote]

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