Reply to How do you cope with the constant emotional blows?

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "How do you cope with the constant emotional blows?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm delighted to read the change in your attitude, OP. Sounds like you need a sit-down with your sister to let her know you do not intend to provide for her, but you can help her get a new job so she can stand on her own two feet. You can help her practice interviewing or edit her resume. Maybe you can help her job search if you're willing. She is scared, which is understandable. It's why I strongly advise all people to live on their own at some point. You have to know you can take care of yourself and she does not know this. She can do it, though, and maybe feeling your confidence in her will help.[/quote]

This is more of the same abusive/dependent stuff op should not get involved in. Her sister is an adult who needs to adult. It is crazy for you to assume that op should do anything to make her sister more dependent upon her. [/quote]

OP. Yep. I know she loves what she does but it doesn’t pay the bills. I’m sure she’s trying to keep things status quo there until she can also collect social security. While I’m appreciative of the help she gives my folks (and she does for sure), it’s also very enabling for them, so they stay in a bad situation and doesn’t allow any planning. Crisis WILL hit, and they have NO liquid means to pay for that. And then the big scramble begins. I don’t want one of my folks in a medicaid nursing home while the other stays in house with my sister on reduced social security which is not enough to pay the bills. Relocate and sell now, and every single problem is solved. My sister can still live with them to help in a downsized home, they can hire someone to help them when needed while my sister works her day hours, and their reduced expenses means they can live on social security, even if one of the spouse passes. Staying in that house is the reason they are in such a bad situation. If they made the decision to change, the WORST that happens is that they rent a nice villa in the same area. Otherwise they can move back East where there is plenty of family to help, into a home that we own, where medical care, etc, is great. Or they can buy a nice condo in a place in the same Eastern location tailor made for elderly in their exact situation.  Heck, we can even kick in a chunk of change from the sale of the West coast home they refused for the condo purchase, since it would be an investment for us as well. SO many options and they choose utter disaster.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics