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[quote=Anonymous]Great marriage and great husband here.

It's definitely a mix of luck and good picking.

I will never again be as lucky as I was in meeting my husband. He is wonderful and amazing AND he loves me too! The luck part cannot be discounted. Huge.

On the other hand - we didn't meet until I was 31. I dated a lot, learned a lot about myself and what I wanted, made the hard decision to break off a roller coaster relationship AND one that was almost right... but not quite. Risking, of course, that I'd never be able to find someone else and get married and have the kids that I so desperately wanted. I kept going through online dating even when it was so, so demoralizing. I was single for years and years.

I also was brutal in my screening process. I knew what I wanted (equal partner spouse, good values, wanted to raise kids in the city, would be a good dad, fun, cute, solid chemistry, open and honest) and what was less valuable to me (super hot, height, income, mind-blowing sex (overrated, IMHO), sophistication, ambition).

These lists are not universal. You have to be honest with yourself about what makes you happy and what you want your future to look like. There's also the luck of being in the position to be able to do that - I grew up in a supportive environment, decent mental health, good self esteem).

So yeah. Maybe 50% luck, 30% picking well, 20% effort? [/quote]

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