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[quote=Anonymous]I’m a happy spouse of a big law partner, but I currently SAH and will work only part time in a passion job when my kids are older. We also have a housekeeper 30 hours a week AND a nanny 30 hours a week. Your spouse doesn’t make enough to pay for that but you can definitely get more help than you have. Frankly I’d consider an au pair; they’re cheaper than a nanny and if you find someone you like, they provide some companionship as well. You can also find someone to do housekeeping for a few hours a day so at least you don’t have to do dishes or laundry.

My other suggestions for making it work vis-à-vis your spouse are:
1. Establish a weekly date night that can only be canceled in extreme cases. My husband and I do this and knowing I have a reserved time with him away from the kids helps enormously.
2. Discuss with him what kind of expectations you have regarding his weekly availability with the family. My DH is with us for dinner and bedtime from 6:30-8:00 pretty much 90% of the time. He can have meetings that go until 6:30, and calls that start at 8, but he doesn’t schedule anything in between. This is the kind of thing he couldn’t do as an associate but as a partner he absolutely can.
3. Discuss a clear schedule for the weekend as well. My DH only does intermittent emails on the weekend and is otherwise available but when things get busy for him we’ll say Sunday afternoons are time for work and so i know to plan something on my own for that time.

I don’t resent my DHs work because I know he enjoys it, and I also know it provides a lot for our family. But I DEFINITELY would resent it if I didn’t have all these other things in place. [/quote]

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