Reply to Stay in a blah marriage for the kid?

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[quote=Anonymous]I just had this conversation with my college girlfriends this past weekend. One of them grew up with parents who had a marriage that sounded like yours - no love or affection for each other, just stayed together "for the kids" and honestly also probably for financial reasons (they are well off but two households cost more than one).

That friend wishes her parents had gotten a divorce because she thinks it caused her to view marriage as a "suck it up and don't expect to be happy" kind of transaction and married someone who was her friend but not remotely her lover. She is now divorcing him for someone else for whom she feels passionately (although they don't have kids so I do think the calculation is different).

So while I would have said that a blah but otherwise happy marriage might be best for the kid, she felt the opposite, having lived in one. I do think the line between blah and unhappy might be hard to draw, though. And I also think that being married to someone who is your best friend that you laugh with and enjoy being with but have no physical relationship with is different than what you describe, which sounds like there is no passion of any kind, including on the friendship level. So my friend would say divorce in this situation because she hated being a kid with those kinds of parents. [/quote]

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