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[quote=Anonymous]Advice to my younger self. Married 26 years. Local ILs and parents.

If you are going to live nearby each other, establish boundaries now. Do you want to have Sunday dinner at your ILs? How about holidays? Are you expected to give equal time? Be willing as newlyweds to start your own traditions; go away for holidays, your anniversary, vacations.

Do you want to vacation together? Again, do you need equal time?

You can visit your parents solo, without your spouse.

Are you expected to call your ILs by their first names? Mom and Dad? Are you ok with this preference? I never could call my IL Mom and Dad although they said that was fine because I had my own parents. If they are my mom and dad then DH is my brother. No.

Be independent! Make your own schedule, keep your own commitments and work life. Don’t rearrange or be overly accommodating for your ILs. Don’t be guilt tripped into anything.

Be polite, kind and listen. Don’t over share about your relationship with DH, your own family of origin, your friends - 
if you must, be aloof. Don’t confide in ILs. 
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