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[quote=Anonymous]I don't do the "I do mine and you do yours" fully.  He does buy the gifts for his parents but I help.  We work together to make sure splitting holidays, vacations, activities is fair (which is not always half and half since one family is local and one is not)  We've never had an issue with the fact that we do wind up spending more holidays and vacation time with my family because he understands his family sees us more ordinarily and I have a parent who is much worse health and we know our future time is more limited with him.

One thing is to just respect the dynamics of the in-laws.  Mine are different from what I'm used to but I can't change them.  I wish some things were different but I don't voice that to DH because he can't control it and I don't want him feeling bad that I don't "like" them.

Also, I try to give them time alone with DH.  He is their son and they had him for half of his life before I came along.  I want them to talk and reminisce without me.  By the same token, I give him a pass on time with my family too.  It's healthy.[/quote]

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