Reply to Holding my boundary. Let him be mad.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sweet lord don’t have any more kids. We have 3 kids and both of us were up at 6:45 this morning so we could get to an 8am game for our middle child. One of us got up to get her there and the other one got up to get the other 2 kids ready and meet them at the game.

I can’t imagine tit for tat every weekend. [/quote]
You can’t imagine parents agreeing to have a couple of hours to themselves each week (obviously not at the same time as a game) and one parent insisting that the other stick to the arrangement they made? Really? [/quote]

DP, no I cannot imagine being that rigid for the gym and a shower just because it was "MY 4 HOURS!".  If my agreed to personal time was being disrespected on a regular basis, then we would have a discussion. I wouldn't be so rigid though, I'd give him the grace that I want in return. Life happens, especially as you have more kids and it becomes more complicated.[/quote]
My experience is that rigidity/firm boundaries is a result of always being the one who is flexible and giving grace without receiving the same in turn. I don’t know about OP, but I had to insist that my DH pick the day he was going to do mornings with the kids because when it was just, well, we’ll figure it out and things should work out approximately evenly, things were very uneven. If I said, I woke up early Sat and Sun for the last 5 weeks, I was accused of bean-counting. I don’t even think he was doing it on purpose, he just vastly overestimated what he was doing compared to what I was doing. So it had to be a schedule so everyone had the same expectations. And, like OP, deviating from the schedule is fine, so long as it’s arranged and asked for, not an assumption that I was available anytime he was tired or wanted to do something else.[/quote]

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