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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can’t believe people who whine about having grandparents that WANT to attend child events. That’s way different than babysitting for you and they shouldn’t have to provide free childcare in order to be invited to things. You are being selfish. How does it hurt you in any way to invite them to your kid’s activities if they want to come??[/quote] It doesn't hurt us, it's just that they expect to be catered to. They need the best seats. They loudly yawn (dad) or whisper gossipy questions about other parents and kids(mom.) They want us to talk only to them. If another parent so much as waves hello, they expect a formal introduction and get huffy if I don't say "Annie you MUST meet my mother!" as if she were a celebrity. At one event (boy scouts) there was pizza for the boys only and my WEALTHY parents were loudly complaining that they hadn't eaten lunch because they expected to get free pizza. If you have quiet unobtrusive parents I suppose it would be easy to bring them.[/quote] That’s the worst and I feel you OP. I commented that I don’t have to babysit my parents, but that wasn’t always the case. We have worked to get to this point. Here’s what I suggest. Set expectations in advance - “please eat lunch, the food is only for the kids” “please arrive early if you want to get seats where you can see. Don’t worry about us, we’ll get our seats when we get there.” Don’t sit next to your mom so she can’t whisper to you. My MIL does this and because she’s 73, it’s louder than she thinks. Real comments about kindergarteners from my MIL - “Does that boy has special needs? Oh really? He looks it” “such a shame that young girl is so chubby, but look at her mom, it’s not her fault” Join a committee, sign up for a job. I am the timer at soccer games. I sell tickets at the school fun fair. I cannot babysit if I am busy and my old school parents wouldn’t dream of bothering my husband. Look for and get to know the other ever present grandmas at your school and find a way to introduce your mom. The old ladies will seek each other out over time. And finally just bring them to more things - like a lot more. And drop the rope and stop pretending like their presence is a special visit from a guest who traveled several hours by plane for an annual visit. If they want to go to everything, they get to be part of your every day suburban life. That means sometimes they drive alone because we have to carpool other kids. That means sometimes grandma is in the car when we swing by to pick up curbside groceries on the way home. When they are around all the time, the pressure to make each event special is less. They get to know people and start to talk to people on their own. And lastly. Deep breath. Your parents are not a reflection of you. You are not a teenager. They cannot embarrass you. They can only embarrass themselves. [/quote] I wasn't the OP but thanks! I'd love for her to make some grandma friends.[/quote]
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