Reply to Taking custody of my 10 year old nephew

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Reply to "Taking custody of my 10 year old nephew "

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[quote=Anonymous]A friend of mine did this for her nephew when he was that age and it was best thing that could have happened.  I second the idea of working with a family therapist.  I would tell nephew that you want both of you to go to the family therapist so that you can be a good team together.  That will keep him from internalizing that something is "wrong" with him---kids in his situation often blame themselves for the problems in their parents' lives.  If you can afford it---get him a tutor to help get him back on track academically.  Lots of teachers will supplement their income this way.  They can clue you in quickly regarding whether he has any special learning challenges besides those associated with the attendance lag.

Read "The Connected Child" and "Attaching to your older adopted child' and similar type readings to get ideas on how to build a strong relationship with him (they apply to your situation as well as adoption).  Figure out things to do together--board games, card games, cooking together, hiking, bike riding---do activities together to build rapport.  And go tell him good night each night---kids are often at their most communicative just before dropping off to sleep.  [/quote]

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