Reply to How many middle-age adult children financially support their parents?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Depends. We do help my parents but won’t do much because they won’t help themselves. Money was never with a financial planner - they let it run into the ground because my father is stubborn. Could have been over a million by now but nope. Sibling lives with them and is pissed now that they are nearing 90 and disabled. She’s always worked her passion which paid low. Brother followed his bliss, which led to meth addiction late in life. He’s kicked it but he lives paycheck to paycheck.

My husband and I have offered a lot of help for them to be able to help themselves. Money is tied up in their home. If they sold and moved to one of many free properties we offered, one around the corner no less, they could hire full time help. They live on SS but it’s over 3K/mo, so a smaller place, SS and an additional 550K would set them up. Very able bodied sibling screams ‘what about me!’. Well sibling, you can still live with them but wouldn’t have a suite upstairs all to yourself. You’d have one bedroom. Beggars and all that.

SO bottom line - help only those that are willing to be cooperative and help themselves[/quote]

Does your sibling help your parents at all?

My parents are no longer here and, when they were, there was not a ton of cash even though they worked hard nearly their whole lives. But fortunately, my siblings and I were self sufficient and always able to come to agreement on how to support them, next steps, etc. I generally contributed more as our HHI is much higher than my siblings. Their final years were stressful enough - I can't imagine this as an overlay on it.

PP, good luck.[/quote]

One sibling helps with the physical care, and I recognize that’s huge, so yes, I help some due to that. The other can’t financially - in short, both siblings are not financially able. What I can’t afford and won’t do is drive our own finances into the ground to support a standard of living that’s no longer viable. Especially since my husband and I have offered many very nice free solutions, including a lovely 5 br home in a great area for retirement. My mother would love to go into a condo place with others her age for the socialization but my father screams no and she caves. I told her that at any point, we would get her out and into one, that her social security goes with her, and then the others will freak and probably choose to make a change. She’s too timid to do it. The problem all along has been very bad decisions on my father’s part, and after his stroke, my mother refused to engage.[/quote]

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