Reply to I meet a lot of moms, but no one wants to be my friend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to invest time before the coffee / drinks date. Join a committee, plan an event with a team, join a running or walking group that meets 1-3x a week. Then give it time. You are coming on too strong / desperate.  [b]The women I call friends are all people where I invested 12-20+ hours of face time on a shared project before moving on to personal socialization. 
[/b]
When I lived in Chicago, group guitar lessons at Old Town School of Music were a very popular adult hobby. It seemed like everyone was friends and I felt left out . . . Until half way through my 2nd session. After investing 10+ hours, people started asking me to drinks after class, which class I was signing up for next session, etc. After 3 sessions I started getting invited to birthday parties and weekend events. [/quote]

This.[/quote]

I’m the poster who wrote the post above. I want to add that it can also be 12+ hours in group settings. Sideline chats, moms group meetups, sitting together at PTA meetings. Then instead of a stand-alone outing, make your invite tied to the shared activity. “Do you want to grab a drink after PTA?” “Do you want to walk over to the coffee shop and grab a drink to-go while the girls are in dance class?”

The other failsafe option is to invite people last minute or to a set event. “There is a moms club happy hour on Thursday, want to go with me?” Or a group text “any one want to meet up for wine in my backyard tomorrow- forecast looks great”. If they say yes, great. If they say no, they have a plausible excuse that they have plans / are busy and you can pretend it’s not a rejection of you, it’s just bad timing. [/quote]

+1. Most people I know with early elementary kids are kind, but overwhelmed. Make it easy.[/quote]

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