Reply to We had to move my mom in with us and it may wreck my marriage

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Reply to "We had to move my mom in with us and it may wreck my marriage - advice needed"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Would it help if you asked her to pay rent to get a hold of her shopping habit?  You could put the money aside and use it for when she needs nursing home care.  The main goal is to avoid the money going to Amazon and qvc and avoid overloading your home with cheap crap.  [/quote]

This. You have to get control of the money to stop the buying and hoarding. 
The passive aggressive comments have to stop. Speak to her directly about it. “Stop interfering.” “Your comment is rude. Either stop or we will find a different place for you to live.” My guess is that you haven’t gone nuclear on her because she’ll respond with crying and pouting. Be okay with that. 
As another poster said, you could look at a studio apartment. [/quote]

Did OP mention her mother was passive aggressive?[/quote]

Yes, and OP said she is a spender + hoarder. Read the thread. There are not that many comments.[/quote]

I read the thread, doofus. There are no posts about it.[/quote]

Hey Doofus: Try page 1, post at 15:21.

You’re welcome. [/quote] 15:21 says exactly nothing about the mother being a spender, only that OP can afford to give her $300-500 a month in assistance. Op can give mom that much (to the detriment of her kids college and her (OP) retirement.) It does NOT say mom is spending $300-500 a month.

OP--do you have a garage you can convert into a studio apartment with the stipulation she can't come into the main house whenever she wants? Would that be a temporary solution until she gets into cheaper housing? Time to start networking--get her on every list you can find for subsidized housing. She may need to continue working part time. Ask everyone you know--Facebook, next-door, senior center etc etc if they have an ADU for rent cheap. Maybe there's another senior woman or two looking for a house mate. Crowd source this problem, but ultimately this is HER problem to solve, and your marriage to save. Your husband's feelings come first. [/quote]

Not PP, but it’s confusing because OP answered the questions within the previous comment and it’s kind of all mixed up together.[/quote]

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