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[quote=Anonymous]In addition to so much of the terrific practical advice being offered here (like hiring someone to deal with your MIL's belongings, looking into residential care, etc. - definitely do this!! Yes! ) -- I would just like to say that you OP-- are a saint. You are doing so much good in this world. You are a giver -- a generous, self-sacrificing, loving person. Givers can often get burned out, so they definitely have to watch out for themselves and set some boundaries. Not easy, I know.

The combo of raising children well, working a full-time job, and taking care of elders and all that that entails is absolutely TOO MUCH for one person - even the most capable person. If there's any way to drastically scale back the elder-care and maybe even the job if necessary (diff job or part-time -- or some other endeavor that works for your family), you can actually enjoy raising your kids, nurturing your marriage, and living a healthier life.

As a new empty-nester, I will tell you that prioritizing your children and your husband is absolutely the right thing to do. When your children are grown and you see them succeeding, you and your husband will have a deep satisfaction and happiness about the life and family you have built together. I have a number of friends and acquaintances who put their husbands and kids LAST and now have deep regrets. They have shallow relationships with their kids, and many times - their kids are in bad shape or have not done as well as they could have. You don't want that.

You also want to invest in yourself and your vocation along the way. When your kids are gone, you will need to have meaningful work you can be proud of.

Life requires so much of women these days, but if you prioritize your marriage, your kids and your vocational calling (and your faith if applicable) -- the people who matter most in your life will be taken care of, and you will be so much happier in the long run.

Take good care of yourself and say "NO" to peripheral demands that eat up your energy and time. These wasteful things will consume your entire life if you allow it! [/quote]

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