Reply to Importance of classmates being at grade levels for reading/math

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We were in the same place ten or so years ago. It's important to realize that there is no perfect solution, that there are various pros/cons. You decide what's important to your family and what might work better for your particular child (this is harder when you have multiple children with different needs).

We thought that for us, staying in Capitol Hill would be better. Yes, for SURE the kids did not receive as good an education. But they were in a nurturing environment that, despite some hiccups, allowed them to have a happy childhood. The local friends on the block, the bike rides to school, then being able to walk to school on their own--those were important to me.

I was not interested in making my kids study for AAP tests (and yes, you are not supposed to study, but I know for a fact people do). I wanted my kids to grow up in a more urban environment (I'm not talking about urban as code for diversity, I'm talking about being able to get around the city on your own). I think some aspects of diversity are overrated, and your kids might not necessarily become friends with kids of other SES backgrounds (which I think is the bigger gap than racial differences, from what I've seen). But still, getting along with people different from them in some way is an important skill. (But, again, I think at this point the suburbs may be more diverse in the true sense of that word.)

I feel like Capitol Hill allowed us to have that small town experience (SOTH for kiddo soccer, the kid musical events around the neighborhood) surrounded by people who similarly wanted to stay. I am sure someone will come and tell me they live in a suburb that has all of that--and maybe we didn't look hard enough. But so far I have no regrets.

For sure, middle school years are challenging. But so far we've made it work, and I have not regretted it. (But, you know, maybe I'll regret it in high school. Who knows.)

I think it's important to decide what's best for your family and then not worry about FOMO. Just remember that there is no perfect school out there. My expensive private high school had some terrible math teachers. :)

If you have a very bright kid, they will read a lot, take music lessons, participate in sports. They will sometimes be bored in school, but it won't take away from their brightness.

If you have a kid who is slow to mature, they will not be shamed and will be allowed to grow at their own pace. Sometimes you'll worry that they are being ignored, and you may need to step in yourself or with a tutor.

If you have a kid who is exactly on grade, they'll be happy and thrive.

If you have a kid with serious behavioral challenges, that's the toughest situation of all, but I'm not sure if moving to suburbs would really help. [/quote]

This is one of the most thoughtful and accurate posts I have read in a long time.  We thought about our Hill lives very similarly and actually valued very similar things but opted to leave. It was the right decision for us and we are very happy with where we landed but the balance could have tipped the other direction with different kids, and honestly if we liked our specific house and block more![/quote]

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