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[quote=Anonymous]Late to this discussion, but I agree with the others that the least horrible option is to have your dad move to memory care to save your mom as much as possible.

We just went thru something similar - my parents moved into a Continuing Care Retirement Community together into the same apartment, with my dad getting additional care to take some of the burden off my mom.  That worked for about a year, and then she started unraveling.   I was blunt and told my mom she had to do it, otherwise we’d lose very soon her as well.

She was reluctant, but the least worst option was him moving to memory care in the same facility.   He protested, but she saw him 2-3x a day and slowly transitioned certain care to the support staff.

Unfortunately he passed less than 6 months later.  We’re all still processing it, but one thing that we realized is we had lost him to dementia over a year before he passed and had been missing him without being able to grieve.

I’m so sorry, there are no good solutions, so we just started thinking of the least awful option.

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