Reply to Am I being fair to DH?

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "Am I being fair to DH?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I've been the SAHP for a short while and this is what I think:

You need to come to some sort of agreement about time spent working and time spent as a family and time spent doing domestic chores.

First: what level of domestic perfection do you all desire?  If there are differences (e.g., one person likes a spotless home; the other is happy enough to see the floor now and then) you need to come to a happy agreement about standards.

Next: how much time together as a family, as a couple, and pursuing your own individual interests do you all want?  What would that look like?  Dinner every night?  All day Saturday and Sunday?  One date night a month?  igure this out together, and hammer out a schedule.

Finally: How do you each feel about your roles and responsibilities?  What does your partner do for you that you love?  What can your partner do differently?  And vice-versa?

Personally, I found that our point of conflict came from me, the SAHP, wanting a very perfectly tidy house; wanting to schedule lots of playdates; wanting to have guests over; wanting wanting wanting...  Spouse worked long hours, and his domestic standards were lower.  He was happy when I was happy, but he didn't want to spend his (I mean OUR) precious family time doing laundry, vacuuming, and so on to meet my admittedly high tidiness standards.  Fine.  We hired someone to do the bulk of this tedious work once a week for a few hours, and I, honestly, had to just relax my standards for the rest of the time.  A delightful if hard-worn compromise.  :)

As for getting up in the middle of the night: think of this this a vital parenting hazing process.  It sucks for BOTH of you, but afterward, you'll both look back at those times with awe that you survived.  :)  In our case, we both got up, though the nursing mum took the brunt of the wakeups.  The working father, however, was up at 4:30 in the morning  getting a head start on his professional day.  So, honestly, everyone was putting in 110%.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics