Reply to DH (WH) about to be hospitalized for suicide ideation- what do I need to know?

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Reply to "DH (WH) about to be hospitalized for suicide ideation- what do I need to know?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think OP has been spending A LOT of time on message boards for cheated-upon spouses, leading to use of a lot of acronyms that we don't tend to use here on DCUM (every internet subculture is unique!)

The prior posters (PPs) are right that the husband needs to own his own shit. He made a series of terrible choices, and each of them was a deliberate decision. Now he would rather end his own life than take the series of decisions/choices that will be required to fix his life.

These are two sides of the same coin! It's easy to make bad decisions and hard to make good ones and/or fix your mistakes, and OP's husband would rather ruin his kids' lives than do the work it would take to just fix himself. [/quote]

That’s one way to see it. Another way is that he is so embedded in the family dynamic that he cannot take responsibility for himself. That’s why I think he needs to get out of the house and OP needs to stop trying to fix him/fix marriage. Instead of in laws coming to help OP, send him to go live with in laws. Then OP hire whatever help she needs, or get her own relatives to help.

I’m not one to be unsympathetic to mental health problems, but the DH in this scenario seems to be bound and determined to drag the family down. Let him go. [/quote]

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