Reply to Friend with Asperger, how to proceed?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DS ( 10) made friends with a boy who lives a few doors away. I like this boy a lot, he is very sweet kid. He is very quirky and my best guess is that he possibly has Asperger’s.

It’s happened a few times now that my son has said something to this boy while they are playing and this boy has gone home upset.  It’s usually a figure of speech or something that should not be taken at face value. This last time they were play fighting and my son said “I’m going to kill you”. This really upset the friend, and my son immediately started apologizing but the friend was very upset and went home.  I received a text from the mom saying that my son has been using “harsh words” with her son.

I’m not sure how to proceed. I will discuss speaking kindly with my son but I don’t think the problem is going to completely go away.

We could do a slow fade with this friend but it’s our neighbor, and I’ve noticed that he has very few friends.  I have an older child with very few friends so I’m aware of how hard it can be.

FWIW My son is well liked and has a lot of other friends. He has never had “drama” like this with anyone. [/quote]

I have a kid with "high-functioning autism" who is highly verbal and your account seems a little suspect. It's a myth that people with Aspergers or on the higher functioning end of the autism spectrum cannot understand non-literal figures of speech. Why this gets repeated over and over is beyond me. Aspies and autists who are highly verbal get your sarcasm and jokes and turns of phrase just fine, even if they don't find you particularly funny. My kid knows very well the difference between saying things in jest and saying things to be mean. I suspect your son is actually being mean when you are not in earshot. Please do slow fade. These kids do not get along and no point in trying to force it.[/quote]

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