Reply to Do you know where your 18 year old goes when going out at night?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] He will be off to college and away in 4 months. I’m going to go against everyone and say stop the location sharing and tracking, unless all of you agree to this. I think it’s creepy to track college aged young adults, like some parents do.

[b]My kids are little younger but teens. [/b]So far, they aren’t out all night. I plan on treating them the same way my parents treated me. Common respect for the people you like with. I need to know an approximate time they will be home, and to let me know if they are staying at a friends. Also let me know if they are taking a road trip. I would do the same if I wasn’t coming home for any reason or going away for the weekend.

Keep communicating, like you are doing. It’s good you are open about drugs and alcohol. Many will try it. Personally, I wouldn’t be okay with keeping mj in the house.[/quote]

The bolded makes your advice useless.  [b]Having “find my iPhone” on your kid’s phone that you pay for when your kid is driving the car around at night that you also pay for [/b]is not only not creepy but is in fact responsible from a safety perspective. Knowing when your kid arrives somewhere safely or that they are headed home when they aren’t picking up the phone is peace of mind.

My teen with a new drivers’ license assured us they could drive themselves from a dmv suburb to a friend’s house in DC one night.  Our kid put the address in maps and was off.  Forty-five minutes later teen called, very nervous, because did not recognize where they were after following the nav.  Turns out there was a street in PG County with the same name as the street in DC kid was trying to find.  Because we had “find my” on, we could figure out where kid was and track them to ensure for them and us that they got on the right route.[/quote]

The bolded makes your advice useless for those of us who don't pay for our children's phones or cars.

OP, I am in a seemingly very similar boat as you. My 18-year-old son (with anxiety and ADHD) has not hung out with friends pretty much throughout high school. Recently, he has been hanging out with a new group. I know the parents of one of the boys - not well, but enough to know that if this boy were using drugs or drinking and they were aware, there would be a heavy price to pay. That says to me that if this boy is using drugs or drinking, his parents are unaware, and he is very good at being sneaky.

My son shares his location with me because I've asked him to, but in return, I've told him that I will only look it up if I am concerned for his safety. I text him when he is out, and he returns my texts, so I haven't needed to verify location. But the new friend group worries me. Actually, everything about this child worries me, and I don't know when (if ever) I will feel as relaxed about him as I do about my other children.

Good luck, OP.  [/quote]

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