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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks all. She’s very friendly, and plays with anyone. She was always making new friends on the playground, so we never forced the issue of friends. But now, as she approaches adolescence, girls are forming groups and tighter friendships and she’s aware that she doesn’t have a close friend or friend group. [b]She does not target the “popular “ girls. She (correctly) recognizes that they’re not very nice and/or have an unwelcoming dynamic. [/b]Our school is very international, which sometimes makes it hard to connect with the parents. She has two friends who are “her people” - quirky, silly, bookish, thoughtful, etc. Unfortunately, they both attend different schools. One lives in DC and is very busy so getting together is hard. I just reached out to an classroom acquaintance to make a play date.

She is in OT for sensory (mainly loud noises, chaos in the classroom, etc) and therapy. She is so far refusing medication, but we’re continuing to discuss it.

FYI she was doing soccer years ago, when her Girl Scout troop signed up and it was another social outlet. Turns out she’s not a group sports person, so the reasons she quit soccer are many. I guess I need to find another art class and maybe something at the library or with books? I will also look into Odyssey of the Mind. Thank you for the suggestions and compassionate replies. 
[/quote]

Maybe you need to look at your own attitude if you're making such generalizations about "popular" girls. Do you even know them, as individuals? They likely are an inappropriate friend group for her right now, because they're probably more socially mature or have different interests, or their dialogue moves too fast for her, or they're into social media and pop culture more than you'll allow, or whatever. But be careful what kind of example you set for your DD about assuming people aren't nice just because they don't want to be BFFs with her.[/quote]

And let me ask you, OP. Are you hanging out in your free time with peers your own age who are depressed and anxious, and who quit and avoid things due to sensory issues? It would be nice if everyone was flexible and understanding and welcoming to everyone despite special needs, but the world isn't like that. And if you go judging everyone who doesn't go the extra mile to be friends with your DD, you'll be judging a lot of people.

I recommend the book It's So Much Work To Be Your Friend. It was really helpful to me with my kids' anxiety-based social issues.[/quote]

I’m not judging people who don’t go the extra mile. I’m just trying to help her find her people. I will check out that book, thanks. [/quote]

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