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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am over my 23 y.o. son. He has managed to fail at everything since graduating high school including college. He compulsively lies and was required to enroll in community college in addition to holding a job and paying nominal rent ($150 a month that I am saving in an account). When I asked him the status of the supposed "late starting" spring courses, he lied again about accelerated courses starting in June. I told him hell no, he must enroll now or get out. I am so over him.

I feel trapped with a perpetual 14 y.o. I keep hoping he finds a gf but know that no young woman in her right mind would deal with his immaturity. [/quote]

Why do you think he's struggling? Do you think he likes failing or do you think he has a problem (depression, executive dysfunction, etc) that is holding him back? What kind of student was he in high school? Would he be more interested in trade school than community college?[/quote]

He lies so much that it's hard to get a real idea of what's going on. In addition to the above requirements to continue living with me, I am considering adding therapy. Though I wonder if therapy would be productive given how much he lies. For therapy to be effective, you have to tell the truth.

His grades were up and down in school.[/quote]

Your frustration is definitely apparent. Not saying it isn’t warranted. But at this very moment, he doesn’t have a reason to change. You nag, he lies, it’s irksome all around, but he has a roof over his head and food to eat. He needs to move out, be responsible, be independent, get a roommate, pay bills, etc. There is no other way this gets better PP. You know that. Set a deadline for a move out date. Give him money that you’ve been saving as first month’s rent. It’s too comfortable for him. He should also be checked for mental health simultaneously, and probably before you kick him out of the nest. Your fear of failing him is enabling him [/quote]

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