Reply to "You should have another kid"

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Reply to ""You should have another kid""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People should never ever say this. I will say, though, that the most miserable special needs parents I know have one child. Having other children without special needs is a relief and a joy and helps balance it out. Feel free to disagree, but it’s been my observation at all of the many many many special needs settings we have been in. And then of course, there are those parents with multiple kids with special needs, which has to be so very hard. So, I get it. [/quote]

It could be that the 'most miserable special needs parents' you know are [b]the ones with their hands already more than full and are therefore the least able to handle another child[/b]. In other words, being less miserable in the first place allowed the other families to have another child, rather than your assumption that having the other child lessened the misery.

Also, of course, many special needs have a genetic component, so people have to consider those odds, too. That next kid may have special needs as well, thus doubling any misery!

Your statement also kind of assumes that kids with special needs don't provide joy in and of themselves, which is generally not the case.[/quote]

DP.  But that's the thing, you can only hold so much - focusing 100% on one child isn't great for the child or the parent, without SN; adding SN means diluting the focus is more important.

We have two kids, both with SN, and I wish we could have three to dilute things, but because of health issues we can't.  [/quote]

If I'm understanding you correctly, you're saying that everyone should always have more than one child because parents of only children focus 100% on their child and that "isn't great" for the child or parent? That sounds like you're opposed to one-child families as a general principle, and that you believe the only way parents can "dilute the focus" on their children is by having additional children? Is that a correct understanding of your position?[/quote]

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