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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, OP, it sounds like you need to get your head out of the "My poor angelic DH has done no wrong, he wants this, he wants that, his poor feeeeeelings" way of thinking about this. Of course you like your husband, but it seems like there's a lot more history here. You say they had a bad breakup, has he taken responsibility for his part in that?

Stop thinking about your DH and start thinking of your SD's best interests. Yes, it *might* be in her best interests to spend more time with her father, but she's not a prize to be won or a possession to be passed back and forth, especially if she doesn't want to have to move back and forth. Some kids really just hate that, especially as they become teenagers and want more control of their lives. She and her mom might be concerned that if they allow this week, there will be pressure for more. Try to see it from the other person's perspective, rather than just thinking about your darling man and his tender feelings.[/quote]m

OP here. I never said DH did no wrong. Nor do I think he is perfect. But he’s a damn good father and does everything he can for all of his children. That, I cannot and will not take away from him. We all have areas to improve on, but he does very well overall. I spend a lot of time defending his ex and understanding things from her perspective, so no, I don’t think she’s the villain. She’s also doing her best. The point of this post is that I felt bad that DH was disappointed in the change as it’s something he’s always longed to do, and it’s just something that comes along with the territory (vs having your kids live with you FT). [/quote]

I see that you've completely missed my point. Stop focusing on your DH and his feelings. I'm sure he's a lovely man and a good father. Yes, it's a bummer that he can't get more time with his daughter. It's also a bummer that his youthful carelessness has resulted in a child growing up without an intact family. But you chose to marry into this, and it's going to be sad and difficult in one way or another whether he gets more time or he doesn't.

Again, try to put yourself in other people's shoes and think about *why* the SD and her mother might not want to give your DH more time. They probably have reasons, and you need to open your mind to what those reasons are. Even if it's hard to hear.[/quote]

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