Reply to Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well the applications have been reviewed and my DC is excited about one of his choices and is about to put a deposit on his choice.  So now it is time to think about how we manage the practicalities of his college years.  I wecome advice on what parents of a new college Freshman should know such as:

How do we decide which meal plan--set number of meals per week, Flex Dollars, or a combination?
My DC will have personal expenses in addition to tuition., books, room and board--how is reasonable for us to contribute and how should we do so
Should we add our son to a credit card?
How do we continue to get access to his academic performance in real time?  And Should we?
What other practical advice would you give us? [/quote]

Professor here.

Meal Plan: if you can afford it, get a larger one first semester and scale back later. The kids are always hungry. Flex dollars are helpful and allow them to switch plans to eat with friends and at different locations (which helps socially).

Personal Expenses: depends. Is this a city or a rural area? Does the campus have amenities? Is your kid someone who wants a hair cut every month and some Chipotle, or he is collecting shoes and likely to pay for friends' food all the time? This is where it helps to talk to other parents. If he ha a summer job, taking a few hundred to college for first semester is a good idea, then you revisit who is purchasing what and how often at the holidays.

Credit Card: Yes. We did this with our young teen for summer camps. Builds credit history and teaches responsibility, so we know it's not an issue. I'd do this now.

Academic Performance: No. It's up to him at this point if he allows your access to bypass FERPA, and honestly, unless he has special needs this is overkill. Kids who are responsible with healthy parents relationships share readily. And in the end, it no longer matters if they get all As. But it matters if they are doing well and getting internships later on, so they can graduate on time and get a job.

Advice: Have a reasonable check in expectation (every weekend, or every Tuesday). Send care packages or Amazon goodies (and include extra for roommates and friends). Give a little cash when you see him. Coordinate with him about visits and don't expect to spend 24/7 with him when you do visit (but do offer to let him bring a friend to a meal if you have more than one meal). Pay for the trips home if you can. Don't over-ask about school, and empathize that adjustment takes time (so less "Are you getting all As?" and "It took me a while to get over the hump of learning how to X. How are you doing with it?" Encourage him to attend class unless he's sick. [/quote]

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