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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Overall Op, accept that it is your time now to be the competent adult. It comes to everyone. The roles are reversed. You do not really have the luxury to wallowing in pity for yourself. [/quote]

As another poster stated it really is not wallowing in pity. It is far more complex. You have to be the parent to someone who refuses to be parented often and you often have to allow someone to completely self-destruct. Then at a moment's notice suddenly they need and beg you to jump in and often that is when you have your own crisis or emergency. It is so hard to set boundaries with aging parents and balance things and prioritize and not self-destruct yourself. "Wallowing in self pity" is actually a very heartless way to put it. You imply the person is selfish and emotionally fragile. Often people are quite selfless in their attempts to help parents and reach them and be there for them and it takes great strength to get help, figure out your limits, give grace, but also not let them suck the life out of you.[/quote]

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