Reply to Parents and ILs Don't Get Along

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've posted about this before. My parents and ILs don't like each other. I think it's mostly my parents that have caused the problem over the years, but my ILs are now being almost as problematic as them. Playing the victim, "we'll sit by ourselves since your parents don't like us and you can sit with them" at events for my DD. I'm kind of at my wits end with all of them. After the last time, I very bluntly told my MIL that I'm not dealing with it anymore. I'm not concerning myself with who sits where and I expect all four of them to be civil or they will no longer be invited to things. They will be a part of each other's lives for many years to come and will have to see each other occasionally. They don't have to be friends, but everyone needs to grow up and do what's best for their grandchild ... and honestly for DH and me too because I get so anxious at events where I know they will both be there. And I will not just invite one set and not the other.

I can tell MIL is hurt and now I feel a bit bad like I snapped at her (when she's historically been less of a problem than my mom) but I think it needed to be said. Am I out of line?[/quote]

Have you snapped and snarked at your parents too or just your in-laws?[/quote]

I was wondering this, too, especially as OP said her parents initiated the bad blood.[/quote]

OP here, it’s been more on a case by case basis. For example, they’ve asked me to coordinate my ILs coming to a grandparents day event from X time to X time and then they will come before or after … I refused. Or my mom has called to complain about ILs after an event (or worse, had my dad call to complain) and I shut it down. My parents are hugely difficult… my ILs are easier types of people for me to be straight with and they aren’t going to escalate. My parents are not that easy to deal with. But I will tell them the same thing when it comes up.[/quote]

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