Reply to Advice needed---- elderly parents, one with dementia...baby of the family, siblings issues

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP here tremendous helpful responses thank you so very much

1.  We have an aid come in 4 hours twice a week to relieve my Dad so he can visit friends and do some things.   
2.  I believe it's the aricept that my mother has that seems to stabilize the disease. The biggest thing is not wanting to bathe and modesty issues even with my Dad.  Even the female aids aren't either pro-active enough and she just simply refuses and so he's gone to Plan B with sponge-baths and the like, but this seems the  hardest area for a breakthrough (although really it shouldn't be, right?)

Occasional bathroom messes is the other.  But her mood, appetite, general demeanor *laughs a lot* enjoys music and being at home where there is a view and such. .. .these are the positives I see and no deterioration in these areas really.  She tracks conversation and gets a boost in social situations.   She laughs along with jokes and keeps eye engagement and is her general good mood 95% of the time.

3. Sister has power of attorney and financial control I believe on accounts.    We have toured care centers locally and we have her name on waiting lists in case of emergency.

4.  Sounds like the big thing we are missing perhaps is a Counselor from the State Agency of Aging maybe for an appointment or a case manager from this agency or one like it???

So much great feedback I really appreciate those who took the time to respond.

[/quote]

OP I would be thinking about Memory care sooner rather than later. The bathroom issues really through my mom over the edge in dealing with dad, though it sounds like her mom has much better mood and demeanor than we dealt with. You can't expect the aides to miraculously make baths happen. As someone on here mentioned, at a MC they would have a team involved in planning which would make it more likely, but they can't force it. Very good that you have toured places and have her name on waitlists. Be proactive on waitlist when you come to terms with moving her. They don''t want to waste their time calling people who aren't there yet.

Do they have steps? How are her gait and balance?[/quote]

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