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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't do this! I was a thin/normally developing kid who began to gain weight at about 14 or so. I went through puberty and my (loving caring) parents began to freak out about the weight I was putting on. My response wasn't to feel terrible and have low self esteem - I just accepted that I was "fat" and that it didn't bother me. The issue: I wasn't fat! I had a BMI of 23! Of course, I gained and gained and gained for about 10 years and now I am fat. It took until I was 27 to decide to lose the weight and it's slowly going down. Basically, focusing on the weight WILL backfire. Focus on fun exercise and good habits. If the weight doesn't drop, still don't mention it.

I don't blame my parents but I literally look back and I am ASTONISHED at how skinny I was. I was like a size 4, most of it in brand new boobs, and my parents began nagging about my weight. Even when I was in college my parents would look so worried/sad when I would come home and have gained more weight: I was a size 8 with DD boobs. They weren't being mean, and they were right to be concerned but honestly, instilling better habits and encouraging me even forcing me to join a sports team when I gained weight would have helped more than looking concerned and sighing heavily whenever I ate a slice of cheese. [/quote]

OP here - I get what you're saying, but my DD is [i]not[/i] a size 4. The thing that concerns me is that her weight has steadily increased over the years. I've ignored it (or tried to) for many years thinking that it would change, she would grow, etc. My concern now is that she's gotten bad habits and shows no real interest in changing her patterns. She does participate in sports, but they're not especially active ones. I totally understand about your parents, I had those parents too. My mom put me on a diet when I was 10 years old! (She doesn't remember it).  Because of this, I didn't want to do this to my kids. However, it is difficult to get past the history and the family legacy of obsession with weight. It's so hard for me to figure out how best to address it because I don't really have a normal relationship with food. I've even discussed with her how unfair it is that some people can eat what they want and be stick thin, but some can't (like us).  Here's an example of how she eats:  She came home from school the other day and had a pudding cup (which is pretty small). An hour later, right before dinner, she was back looking in the cabinets again. I told her to take some fruit, but she ignored me and had a chocolate chip granola bar. Then, dinner 30 minutes later. She always takes seconds and sometimes thirds. If we have bread, she'll eat several pieces until I cut her off. For dessert she had a slice of cake. We happened to have cake in the house, which we normally don't. I did make a comment about it - couldn't help it - but she ignores me. I don't want her to be chubby high school girl! She's an incredible kid and I want her to have everything. I feel like she's using food because she's bored. [/quote]

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