Reply to Talk to me about pelvic floor damage and what you did to address it.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Pelvic floor physical therapy for 2 years with 4 providers. Had imaging to confirm muscle damage. Consulted several urogynecologists and a colorectal surgeon. Planning to have surgery once my kids are older and I’m not lifting them. [/quote]

Wow 4 years! [/quote]

It was over 2 years, not 4.

Here is my advice to OP and everything I wish I had known.

1. Talk to your mom and women in your family about their births, and lasting impacts. If they have urinary incontinence, anal or flatal incontinence, bad tearing, instrumental delivery, prolapse, or vaginal laxity (eg looseness). Ask them to be brutally honest. If there are a lot of issues, proceed with caution on a vaginal birth. Eg if mom, grandma and your aunt all had prolapses the genetics are not in your favor.

2. Consider your age. If you are an older FTM (say 33 and older) and only planning one or two
Children, I think a scheduled C section is a reasonable choice. Or you can do a trial of labor but have a low threshold for going to a C section.

3. If baby is not moving down well with pushing or is in a bad position, have a C section. Do not have forceps or vacuum. Tell your doctor you don’t want those and you want them to do whatever possible to avoid an instrumental delivery and an episiotomy.

4. Do pelvic floor physical therapy before birth to work on optimizing chances for a successful vaginal birth. Also do Spinning Babies, One Strong Mama, and see a chiropractor who does Webster technique.

5. Don’t go long past your due date - the last few weeks babies can can like a half a pound a week and get huge. Get induced instead.

6. Have an epidural and get it early. Labor is insanely painful and unless you are a masochist there’s no need to experience bone crushing agony.

7. Don’t push for hours. If you are approaching 1 hour or 2 hours and it’s not getting close, go to a C section. Pushing in excess of 3 hours is really bad for your body and can cause damage to your nerves, rectum, fascia and pelvic floor -  each contraction cuts off blood temporarily to the area. It’s ok for a little while but hours of this can cause irreparable damage.

8. Know you can tear in many ways beyond first, second, third, and 4th. You can tear your urethra, labia, clitoris. You can tear inside the walls of the vagina and your anal sphincter. These injuries are things you don’t hear much about but they can and do happen so make sure you see a pelvic floor physical therapist  after birth regardless.

9. Know a c section is not a panacea. It can cause many issues including infection, serious blood loss, infertility, placenta issues in future pregnancies.

10. Know there is NO good way for a baby to be born. There are different choices but all have risks and benefits and what is right for you should not be a one size fits all approach but a discussion with your doctor about your unique circumstances.

11. Don’t believe the lies that you should not hear Women’s bad birth stories or that pain in labor is caused by fear. It is normal to have a fear of childbirth - historically it was a leading cause of death among young women and children. Hearing different stories gives you a more realistic idea for the realities of birth thst you don’t get from fake social media pictures of gorgeous women with blowouts and full faces of makeup right after they deliver, Childbirth is hard, painful, and sweaty and bloody work. There will be body fluids and needles. And it can be scary. But you are strong, you can do it, and having a beautiful baby is the reward for your pain and suffering. [/quote]

Bumping this, it’s awesome advice. Really love the post immediately above as well. [/quote]

Yes I agree. I would also suggest learning open glottis pushing versus closed glottis. The nurses are going to encourage you to purple-push because that's all they know (normally). There are also many positions you can get into to open your pelvis. On your back with legs up is not one of them. Epidural does complicate as many providers are not comfortable allowing movement (side-lying/peanut balls/etc) with an epidural. 
[/quote]

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