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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "This is really bothering me- always being "on" as the parent"
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[quote=Anonymous]I had this dynamic too. I told him that even though it's almost always ok, he needs to "ask" me before making plans. For example, he likes to do yoga in the morning. He needs to ask me if it's ok before he books it--it almost always is, but I do have occasional work calls that overlap with school drop-off. I He's gotten really good about asking first, but will occasionally forget. For example, last week and he booked a massage, then said "I have a massage booked for 4-6, which would mean you have to get the kids from school. I can reschedule if I need to, but does that work?" I told him it worked, but that he needs to ask before he books. At first he said he thought I was making too big of a deal out of it, but when I explained my therapist said it's manipulative to do something then say you can change it (instead of having a discussion, it puts the onus on me to tell him no) he got it. I also know he's terrible at estimating how long things will take and also gives me the estimates for the best case scenario, so I would just assume he's not going to be home if he's been working late on a project. I don't want a weeklong girls trip or to try to force him to always be on by just disappearing and leaving the kids with him, I want to be able to plan and make sure that plans work for our family, not just him![/quote]
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