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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Stop asking them to move closer, OP.  It's their choice on where they live, not what's convenient for you in a hypothetical future.  Competent aging people can still make their own life decisions.  You may not agree with or like what they choose, but you don't have a say unless they're asking you for support.  Live in the now and give up dwelling on what might happen.  In ten years, they may be ready to move closer.

I understand you'd like them to be more interested in your kids, but they're as involved as they want to be.  It's sad and feels unfair, but its what they're choosing to do.[/quote]

Yeah, this sounds great. But fast forward almost 10 years where I am now, and my folks cannot move (too frail) and are out of money. [/quote]

Different poster. I am sorry to hear this happened and I know how painful it all is. You look into what is available given their financial circumstances. You can also ask adult protective services to do regular checks on them. You don't put yourself in financial or health jeopardy to save them. You do only what you can handle. It took me so much therapy and emotional pain to learn to detach and understand that my parent made a series of awful decisions while cognitively fine. To make things worse, my parent's refusal to treat mental illness made her abusive while still considered capable of making her own decisions. I had to save my own life and protect my family and detach. We have outside professionals involved. In our case there is at least money to en sure she gets decent care, but she does not agree to the level of care she needs and that is her choice. I had to learn to accept she may die from a fall down her steps, but it will be on her terms living exactly the way she wanted.[/quote]

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