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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it's sort of "masking" on both ends.  Some traits that are a non-issue in the early years of the marriage when there is generally less stress become huge problems when there is more stress and less margin fir error.   Maybe in the beginning, one spouse doesn't notice or think it's anything unusual when the other spouse needs to spend an hour every day after work alone in the room reading.   Now, with two kids under 5, the spouse is not only adjusting their needs down, but demands two hours of unwind and tantrums if they don't get it.[/quote]

It’s just weird to me that getting from meeting someone to marriage requires emotional intimacy and a lot of soft skills, consideration, charm, thoughtfulness etc that most ppl on the spetrum do not have easily [/quote]

So, one of my friends is married to a HFA guy.  He is very good looking, very smart, high earning and very quiet.  I've known this couple for about 15 years, and I don't think I've ever heard him speaking at a party other than asking when are we leaving.

She told me that she was the one completely driving the courtship.  For their first trip together, she asked him to book a hotel, and was shocked when he told her he booked two rooms.  So she had to tell him point blank that on this trip they will be sleeping in the same room, in the same bed.   But once he figured out they are a couple, he started bringing her flowers every week, and still does.  He basically made himself a checklist of romantic gestures and is following it without thinking too much.   My friend isn't complaining, though.  The money he brings in simplifies her life significantly.  Bottom line, not everyone is after the soft skills.

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