Reply to Does anyone else not want to live to be very old?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for the responses. I think the person who said I wasn't afraid of getting old but of being not well was right. But like someone else said, I do think that doing the "right things" healthwise can help you stay well longer. But they aren't guaranteed. My father is a doctor who has been a vegetarian most of his life and exercises faithfully like five times a week and stays intellectually active. But prostate problems left him virtually unable to sleep because he constantly had to pee, and prostate surgery didn't leave him that much better off. He certainly doesn't seem like a happy person--but then he never has.

I do think there is a personality component. One of my grandmothers loved life, and she was very outgoing and social, and until she had a stroke that really compromised her quality of life, I think she really enjoyed living--despite aches and pains. My other grandmother was always sort of a negative person. She smoked, and she died of lung cancer. But I don't really think she even fought. She'd just had enough. Honestly, I think am more like her than my extroverted grandmother. Sometimes, even now, I am sort of bored with life. I think I've done most of the enjoyable things. Sure. I'm sure there are more, but I've already lived a full life.

I do think about my child. If I were to get cancer now, I would fight it. Because I think my child still needs me, despite being an older teenager. But at a certain point, you can start becoming a burden on your children. My mother essentially became my grandmother's full time caretaker after her stroke, even despite assisted living, and it took a huge toll on her. I think once my kid is about 30....35....I mean no one wants to lose a parent they love. (I hope my kid will love me then.) But I also don't want to be a burden.

Of course, the whole question is really moot. We don't usually have a say. Do we. I don't think I am brave enough to end things...it would depend how much pain I was in. And I can't really just choose to pack it in at 65 or 70. Or not to. My friend said, "Every day is a blessing," and she reminded me of a friend of ours who had died of cancer, after a long drawn out illness. But that's really not true. Every day of illness of our friend's life was NOT really a blessing. She chose to keep fighting the illness, but she knew she was going to die. I sometimes wonder if the quality was worth the quantity. [/quote]

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