Reply to Accepting my LGBTQ children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have zero interest in my child's sexual life.  Apart from I hope they are healthy, happy, treated well.... The only people whose sexual life I am interested in are people I am romantically attracted to. What any body else does is of NO interest to me.  
Your child is a soul, wrapped in a body.  The genitals of the body are irrelevant.  As is how your child chooses to enjoy their flesh or enjoy it with other people.

I wish you could just focus on what's important - loving the person you love, and not caring about their flesh (beyond health) or relationships.  I mean really, what difference does it make?[/quote]
Perhaps, but would OP feel sad if her kid were marrying someone of a different race? That, too, makes life more difficult and yet I don’t think OP would feel the same way. I think OP is right to be ashamed of her feelings and good on her for realizing she should work to change them, it’s for her kids’ and her sake. The stakes are too high (to their relationship) to complacently say, it’s my feelings, so it’s fiiiiiiiine, it’s not about homophobia at all…sorry, but that’s bullshit. OP, you’re on the right track; keep working on it. It will pay off in the long run, no matter who your kids end up with.[/quote]

Feeling shame about your child's queer identity when you would not feel that shame for them being straight is homophobia.[/quote]

NP. Right, that’s what PP is saying. They’re saying it’s bullshit to deny that it’s about homophobia. [/quote]

You all are being really harsh.  She started this post because she loves her kids and wants to do and be better.  Is this really helping? You have anger about this, and that may be justifiable, but I really wish you could be helpful without being so aggressive.[/quote]

NP. Maybe people are getting tired of holding the hands of people who are supposed to love their kids unconditionally while they come to terms with their homophobia and coddling them while they work to tolerate the gays.

I'm a parent of two LGBTQ kids, 17 & 20, one of each gender. I am struggling to empathize with OP. I just don't understand why it would affect someone's feelings toward her children, aside from being homophobic. If it were an interracial relationship she weren't comfortable with, I'd be equally unsympathetic about OP having trouble accepting it.

OP really needs to figure this out, because unless she's a wonderful actor, the kids will be able to tell she's unhappy. That's going to suck for them, and it's going to affect her relationship with them and her kids' partners. I think the therapy suggestion could be helpful. [/quote]

Nowhere did op say that it affects her feelings toward her kids.She’s disappointed in herself, she makes that clear. 
My best friends daughter is gay and she had a hard time with it. Then her daughter got a girlfriend and my friend was surprised at how happy she was when her daughter got a girlfriend. She loved seeing her daughter so happy. So there’s that. [/quote]

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