Reply to Any tips or advice re: interacting with elderly relative with borderline and narcissistic traits?

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Any tips or advice re: interacting with elderly relative with borderline and narcissistic traits? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Thanks very much, PP.

How did you find the social worker and how is she paid? We thought we had some of this covered with a HHA but my mom has turned on her and plans to do without one. So your approach intrigues me.

I did recently call a doctor and the nurse documented my concerns. She suggested I ask if I could attend the upcoming appointment by phone as I was there for the last one in person and she remembered meeting me. I asked and my mom said "NO, I don't need a babysitter!" So that is a bit awkward, but not something I can control.

The sib with POA said we should have her start driving again so this will all be wrapped up sooner, and he does not care if she takes someone else out. He is pretty cold. The $$$ loving sib just sucks up to her. I seem to be the only one concerned about her well being and safety but am the one she is suddenly paranoid about bc I see she is struggling a bit.

Various service providers are trying to drive wedges re: her kids, the HHA, etc. It is a bit alarming. Some of that info has come from her, other info from neighbors. The HHA provides a degree of safety physically, keeping track of who is in and out, letting us know she had a recent serious fall, had a med error, etc. but now she is the targeted scapegoat, surpassing me. $ is a big anxiety for my mom and that is another reason she wants to cut off the service.

It's like watching a car accident in slow motion with vehicles coming from several directions.

Your mom sounds so much like mine, seeing the neighbors as her "fan club." They were thrilled that a meal service and HHA were started but my mom did not even leave those in place for a month before cancelling or planning/talking frequently about canceling at end of the month. The only neighbors who still interact with her all had narc or otherwise disordered or mentally ill mothers. They seem caught in her web but resentful. One is listing his house soon and the other travels for months at a time.

The HHA company also has an emergency service available, the owner would be available to go hospital since we all live far away. They also send a weekly report. It has been great, my sibs are fans too. But my mom does not factor in others and we can't prevent her from cancelling. But maybe a social worker could be a plan B. I guess there is always calling the police for welfare checks, too. 
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics