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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We don't do it by whose job is more important or gets priority.  We look at who has how much sick or annual leave left, who has the calendar full of external meetings v. who has a bit more flexibility that day, who has a big deadline next week v. who's got a bit more time.  There is no default to one or the other of us.  Some days we even split the day; he works from home/takes time off in the AM and I work from home/takes time off in the PM.  [/quote]

This is similar to us. And I’m a fed so by default I cover all the school closures on federal holidays. DH has some floating holidays that he uses to cover the other random holidays. We also often pay for school break camps. My kids are elementary age an independent enough to watch a show, nap, read, etc. on sick days while I work from home. I do take breaks to give Tylenol and make lunch, but otherwise it’s not as big of an issue as when they were babies/toddlers. So hang in there OP. This stage of the kids being really little passes.

I also think I had realistic expectations. I had kids at 30 and 32, so wasn’t full speed ahead career-wise at that point and trying to get ahead. Maybe one or both of you need to just accept a career plateau for a few years.[/quote]

Same.  We’re both Feds, both WFH most of the time, both GS15 supervisors.  Even when it was less equal, when we first started having kids (shortly after I finished grad school) we still figured it out on a case by case basis.  The one time we both had out of town conferences we couldn’t miss, we flew DH’s mom in to watch the kids for a few days.  My parents are local but can’t manage all three.

I’m the default parent in terms of scheduling stuff - mostly because I have far better executive function - but DH absolutely does his share of appointments and sick kid duty.  He’s much better than me at getting up at night if one of them gets sick.[/quote]

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