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[quote=Anonymous]OP, the way I frame it for myself is, I want to do X with Y and Z, so I'll invite them. I don't have any expectations for whether X and Y will ever reciprocate. (Hosting at home is cheaper, so usually I don't worry if the other people reciprocate; if you go out, everyone pays their own way, and it's just the cost of organizing, which is real, but I don't mind.)

Some people can manage to show up, but don't have it in them to plan ahead or host. I also have figured out that Y likes to go out to dinner just the two of us, and Z will only socialize as a family. If you can get to a point that you have a standing type of a get-together, that helps. (I now have a monthly lunch going with two friends, when we get together, we schedule the next month's event.)

If you're inviting a bunch of people out, have one core person and check in with them about best times first, so that at least two people will be able to make that date. Try to invite a group of people in which some are flakes but at least a couple are more likely not to cancel.

Having said that, it's very annoying to reach out and then not have anyone show interest... I get it. Been there, done that.[/quote]

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