Reply to Just curious: you feel judgment about the sacrifices you make for your teens?

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Reply to "Just curious: you feel judgment about the sacrifices you make for your teens?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you expect DD to go to college in next two years? If so then you do need to back way off and let her take the lead. [/quote]

DP.  My DS with ADHD/anxiety/LD is in his 2nd year at community college.  It was his choice to go to college - in that he decided he wanted to go to college - but we were clear early on that we wouldn't pay for him to go away to school until he demonstrated he could be successful independently.

Over the last 2 years, he continues to 'take the lead' by remaining in college but that doesn't mean he doesn't need a lot of support. He takes the lead by asking me for help but helping him learn to manage communications with instructors, how to schedule appointments with advisors, how to figure out what classes are needed and to find the better professors - those are all things that spend a lot f time with him on because of his disabilities.

I'm very proud of how far my DS has come in the last 2 years.  Had I not been willing to continue supporting him at a high level, he would have failed and not learn what he needed to learn - and I'm not talking class content.  I'm talking about the life skills that we all need to be successful in the real world.  I also have an NT DD in college.  Completely different experience.  Different child, different needs.  She's pretty much done everything on her own.  You parent the child you have, not the one people expect you to have. [/quote]

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