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[quote=Anonymous]Is she actually failing the class, like report card grades of an F (or the equivalent in your system's grading scale)?

It sounds like, based on the standardized test scores and her tutor's assessments, she's understanding the material and is working at or above grade level. So, if she really is literally failing, in spite of having a solid grasp of the mathematical concepts, you need to pinpoint which parts of her grades are bringing her down.

Is she not turning in assignments? Is she doing poorly on homework? Classwork? Is she failing tests? When she gets a problem wrong, is there a pattern to the mistakes she's making? I bet her tutor could help you pinpoint which types of mistakes she's making, and make a list for her of a few standard things to check when she finishes a problem (did she get her columns lined up correctly? did she multiply when the problem said to add?).

It sounds like you need to do your very best to lower the emotional tone—for both of you! It's hard for girls who are conditioned to be people-pleasers when they suddenly realize it doesn't always work, but she needs to know that's OK, it sometimes just happens, but she can still learn a lot from a teacher she doesn't really click with.

Try to stick to concrete and quantifiable things: 
—What exactly is bringing her overall grade down? 
—How can her tutor help her translate her successes in the tutoring sessions into the classroom? 
—Which parts of her 504 plan are not being followed, and what are the steps for remedying that? 
—Are her current 504 accommodations still enough to allow her to successfully access the curriculum, or does the plan need to be reassessed to add additional supports?

It's inevitable that your DD will find teachers she just doesn't click with in the course of her school career, but nothing you've described here really seems to be crossing any lines. But not following the 504 plan is technically illegal, so that's a really good concrete place to start. Whether she's literally failing, or just feeling overwhelmed and not doing as well as she could be, that 504 should still be followed as agreed upon. Others here have had some good suggestions about how to make sure that happens.

Try to set aside those vague complaints about things like "talking differently to [her]" or not liking your DD. When you talk to the administration, stick to what you can actually demonstrate, like preferred seating not being honored, not signing off on her assignment book each day, or whatever's specified in her plan. 
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