Reply to Feeling hurt when other people fall apart over their elderly ailing parents while mine died young

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]It's normal for you to feel this way. It's also normal for people to worry about their 90+ year old parents. They can both be right. [/b]

I think you really should see a therapist about this. I think you haven't worked through a lot of the grief. You also need to be able to think about how you'd want your own kids to feel. Wouldn't you want them to care for you when you're elderly? You can't change a relationship you never had with your parents but you can make sure yours is strong with the family you still have. [/quote]

This.

There's room for both sets of emotions.  But not always in the same conversation or at the same time.  And the people you process each set of emotions with may not overlap.  It's ok.  I do think therapy would be a really good place to say all this stuff out loud and feel validated and supported.

I am sorry you didn't get to have your parents for longer.[/quote]

OP here.

Thanks for your feedback.

It also makes me feel sad that my parents never got to enjoy their retirement. Mom was too young to take retirement (and had no plans to give up her job yet - at least until age 60 or so), and dad was running his own company when he got ill.
They had plans to travel in retirement.

Over the years DH and I have traveled to and stayed at some of the places my parents liked for vacations, which is a comfort to me, at least temporarily.[/quote]

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