Reply to Parents with 3+ kids and 2 full-time jobs, how do you do it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have three and we both work full-time.  Dad has always worked remotely.  I only go into the office once a week.  We don't have outside help.  Working remotely definitely gives us more time to get stuff done.  But both parents need to pull their weight dividing up both child care duties and cooking and cleaning duties.  If DH wants another kid and he thinks he can manage with another kid but you can't, he is not currently pulling his weight right now.  That is, you are likely doing the brunt of child and household responsibilities.  [/quote]

OP here. The kids are 3.5 years old and 6 months. Surprisingly, DH does pull his weight domestically. He does at least half of the household duties and childcare. The issue might be I'm not great with time management and also need/want a lot more sleep than him. In addition, my hobbies are almost all out-of-the-house while his are done online. So I have temporarily dropped all of my hobbies and am eagerly looking forward to getting back into them. We also have a nanny and both sets of grandparents nearby.[/quote]

Unpopular opinion- if you want your kids to be able to play sports, go to swim lessons, join girl/cub scouts, go to different camps, etc. I don’t think you should have a 3rd until your oldest is at least halfway through kindergarten, ideally 1st grade so you have a whole year of random days with no school for grade prep and a summer of registering and paying for camp under your belt. This is not about making it through infancy - this is about whether you can handle the logistics of the activities your kids will want to do. [/quote]

OP, the above is the kind of value judgment only you and your DH can make for your family.  My three kids do sports, swimming, scouts, camps, etc.  Do they do every single thing their hearts desire?  No.  We’re okay with that.

It’s also okay for you to prioritize, say, your own hobbies or your kids multiple extracurriculars and stick with two.  Totally cool either way.

Also, there are benefits to spacing out your kids more; there are also drawbacks.  The latter mostly include the youngest getting shuttled around to various activities for the older ones, more time in baby/little kid mode, and potentially the kids playing together less, since they’re further apart.  Again, up to you to decide.

You may not need to hear more downsides to having three kids, but this thread also considers the benefits: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1103794.page[/quote]

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