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[quote=Anonymous]I totally get not wanting lots of people around right after you bring the baby home from the hospital. I had the best relationship with my mother ever but having my parents stay with us for a week after our first child was born was just awful. They hadn't been around babies in decades, and so couldn't help in any serious way, and kept wanting to make big meals. Meanwhile my husband and I were basically hysterical with the stress of being clueless ourselves and also totally sleepless. It was the worst week ever, no exaggeration. And my mother was genuinely one of my best friends.

On the other hand, I think if both sets of grandparents are relatively local, it's problematic to say one pair can see their grandchild and one must wait an undetermined number of weeks. It really is setting you up to be the target of a lot of resentment, which is not what you need at this point. My strong recommendation would be to tell the ILs they can come visit the baby for the day, a few days after you get home. Even if you're miserable and uncomfortable, you can probably get through a few hours with them. And you don't really know - you may be thrilled to have a couple of hours to sleep or whatever.

Just fwiw, as bad as it was to have company right after my first was born, it was also tough the second time around, by which time my mom had died, and there was no one rushing to see my new baby. Some of us can tell you horror stories about how awful it is to be thronged with people with you're immediately post-partum, but remember that lots of people are thrilled to have an extra set of hands and someone to coo at their newborn... if you limit the time frame and think about this as a gift rather than an imposition, you may be surprised to find you're happy to see your ILs for a few hours.[/quote]

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