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[quote=Anonymous]I take a middle of the road approach.  Like others, I value the time with my mother.  Having lost my father, my MIL and an older BIL within the space of 13 months (3 years ago), it's very hard to handle those losses and you often have regrets that you didn't see or spend as much time with them while they were alive.  So I accommodate their visits whenever they come, including hosting them in my home.

That said,  I don't change any other plans we've made.  If they are going to come unannounced, then they'll have to fit into our household schedule.  If they want to plan  a visit ahead of time, then I'll block off time during their visit to spend more time with them.  And I'll be honest.  "I'm sorry Mom.  If you had let me know ahead of time when you were coming, I could have planned more time to spend with you, but these other plans have been made and I am not going to be rude to these other people because you dropped in without any advance notice.  We'll be back in a few hours and see you then."  If we are going somewhere they can come, we'll invite them.  If we can't, they'll have to entertain themselves until we get back.

If they drop in unannounced, they'll have times when they have to sit in an empty house.  I will drive them around if I'm available, but if I have other plans, they'll have to handle it themselves.[/quote]

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