Reply to Parents in 70s plan trips without consulting adult children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, your parents are super rude and boundaries are totally appropriate. However, there is nothing you can say to people who are behaving this selfishly that will make them accept your boundaries without complaint. So you need to get comfortable with the idea that they will act angry and hurt by your boundary setting.

Personally, I would look at my schedule and find the next dates that are convenient for a visit. I would send them to my parents and say "As I've mentioned several times it's really difficult when you show up without consulting us first. The next dates that are good for you to visit are X. I respectfully request you do not come another time before then. If you do, I will be busy with other activities and not able to drive you around and cook every meal for you."

If you are lucky, you might get a temper tantrum ibn return that results in them not visiting for a while. I personally would enjoy the break.

If this is too much for you, you just have to accept the situation you are in. They won't be able to travel independently forever.[/quote]

I would say "Not available to spend time with you at all". If you open the door even a crack, like that they can come as long as they cook for themselves, they'll steamroll right through it.[/quote]

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